Dear Creativity,
I miss you.
Please come home.
I need you more than i thought i did,
and hope your not gone forever.
Love,
Hannah


Dear Creativity,
It's me again,
I truly do miss you and really hope you get this.
I pray that one day you'll realize that this was all a big mistake,
I never meant to use you like I did.
I never meant to silence you when you had the most to say.
I know I don't deserve you,
I really do need you in my life.
I'm nothing without you.
Please come home.
Love
Hannah

Dear Creativity,
This is beginning to seem like a pointless plea,
and I hate what you're doing to me.
I'm empty, lost and confused without you.
I'm like a body without it's soul,
and I can't promise that I can keep control,
much longer.
You were the only thing to make me feel like I belonged,
and I searched for years before I truly found you.
Before I was able to harness and understand you.
And with one single breath,
you were gone.
And I just want to know where you went,
and want you to know I miss you.
I'm sorry.
Please come home.
Love
Hannah

Dear Creativity,
You're really starting to anger me.
I know that when you come back,
you'll force yourself in and turn my life completely upside down.
You'll steal my focus and overflow from my fingers.
I won't be able to keep up.
Why must you build up inside me?
I miss you being out in the open for everyone to see.
I miss you being the center of my attention.
I'm sick of this hiding.
I know you need me too.
Why can't you just admit it and come home?
Please come home.
Love,
-Hannah

I feel like I'm looking through a fisheye lens,
and my eye keeps twitching.
My heart feels like it's going 120 beat a min,
but also feels like it's completely stopped.
But my pulse is 84 (an average for me).
My head is rocking back and forth to the music,
and my eyes want to close,
but need to focus on something.
Anything.
I've never been so paranoid of nothing,
and i've never craved to be around a crowd of people so bad.
Even though a huge part of me wants to be alone.
I took less than my normal amount of adderall today,
so why is this happening.
Side effects this strong normally only happen during finals,
when I haven't slept for days and Adderall is the only thing keeping me going.
My teeth feel like I've pushed them out with my tongue,
and my mouth is so dry.
All i want to do is create,
but my subconscious is too afraid of what i might destroy.
A perfect piece of paper,
with a stupid little sketch.
My heart wants to draw
but my brain wants perfection.
All i want is to watch Requiem for a Dream and draw away,
but all i can do is sit on the floor in front of my bed
and rock back and forth to the theme.

The side effects of starting Adderall again after a weekend off,
I guess you'd have to be in my shoes to understand.

[link]

^^Hannah Forest Photography


Check it out
and tell me what you think.

Well it's almost time for Finals, and trust me, Finals are bad enough... but i am sick again.
I have Mono.
Luckily it hasn't been to bad.
I just kinda feel like shit all the time.
But it means i get to talk to my family more which is nice.
I've talked to my Auntie Em/Grandma a lot lately and i love it.
I love them.
I get to see them Jan 3rd-13th.
I am very excited

Ok.
Well i gotta do some homework.

Well it's almost time for Finals, and trust me, Finals are bad enough... but i am sick again.
I have Mono.
Luckily it hasn't been to bad.
I just kinda feel like shit all the time.
But it means i get to talk to my family more which is nice.
I've talked to my Auntie Em/Grandma a lot lately and i love it.
I love them.
I get to see them Jan 3rd-13th.
I am very excited

Ok.
Well i gotta do some homework.